? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
