There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am available for nakedness
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
