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After last night, I could never be a politician.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
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