ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.