Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.