Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?