he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So much rum. So many feels.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
