well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
