Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
