Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
