Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
