I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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