It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
