My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
