I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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