So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
