Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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