is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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