Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
