Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
