dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
