When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
