Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
