I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
