maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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