i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
