i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
