I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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