It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
