so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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