Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
