this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
