That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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