I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i've created a new STD.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
