mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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