is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
