Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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