girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
