We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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