Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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