Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
