You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
