she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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