you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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