How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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