Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
