People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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