i already hear my dad disowning me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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