there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
