his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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