Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
