What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
zippers are such a cool invention
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
