How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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