You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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