Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.