I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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