we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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