he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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