We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Two words: nipple clamps
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