well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
