You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
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im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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